How to Heal

A year and a half ago we had a horrible accident at our home where our daughters were burned on their faces and arms. Brooklyn (3) was released from the hospital the following day, but Addison (5) was there 6 long weeks. During our stay at the hospital so many traumatic things happened, including Addison's lung function plummeting and our son Ben taken from us due to the fact he was not yet adopted.

At one point I had lost two of my four children.

One I was not sure would survive and the other I was not sure I would ever see again. I didn't know if he would be wrapped up into the foster system, or adopted by someone else.

I saw my husband cry, and I saw dark pain in his eyes.

I saw people who love us show us their true sincere empathy.

I saw people who love us flee.

I heard people tell us WHY this happened.

I read emails of strangers around the world tell us how they prayed for our family.

RESTORATION is what I prayed for...what I cried out for.





RESTORATION came.





Then grief came.

The grief that my daughter would never look the same, although she is beautiful. Grief of a memory singing to my baby boy, rocking him in his nursery thinking I may never hold this child in my arms again. Grief of the unforgiveness my husband feels for himself. Grief of certain family members NEVER showing up to the hospital. Grief of family members saying all the wrong things. And so MANY horrible memories, that it seemed I could not control.

During this time of grief Addie was healing beautifully every day, Ben was home and we planned his adoption and celebration, I was working and LIFE seemed almost normal. But it wasn't. It was horrible, and dark and my heart hurt all the time. It seemed I could not control my thoughts or emotions. I was sad and heartbroken even though my prayers were answered and the Lord RESTORED my family.

I have been depressed before and I have seen enough of it in my family to know to FLEE.

I sought counseling, and I came to realize that I am in control of my thoughts.

You see we are designed to feel.

We are not designed to ACT like everything is perfect at all times and just hope that it turns out that way.

We are not designed to wallow in self pity, constantly thinking of only ourselves and our feelings.

We are not designed to over react to everything that does not go our way.

So here are some tools on how to heal.

Seek help.

Pray.

Surround yourself with good, real people who truly care about you and not their motives. These people will NOT have all the answers and they will be honest and good enough to tell you so. They will make you laugh and let you cry. When needed they will drop off a meal or a mocha ;)

Do not let your negative thoughts and memories take over your mind! If you start to think of something ugly, painful, or not worthy of your time FLEE! On another note be real. Living in la-la land is no help to anyone and it won't allow healing. It will make you look fake, not perfect.

Cry.

Talk.

Be honest.

Be willing to move on.

LET IT GO. This is by far the hardest but I will tell you it will make life so much easier, sweeter, precious and worth living. If you are a parent you have little eyes watching you...yes you. If you are a Christian you have thousands of eyes watching you...yes you and what kind of Christians are we if we hate life, if we show pain in all circumstances? If we are joyless beings wandering the Earth yet proclaiming the love of the Lord what kind of message are we sending?

If you have lived through a trauma take heart and heal. It's a choice, not an easy choice but a choice. Know that there is JOY in the world. Find your JOY and move forward.

This is how I learned to heal.

Be a blessing today.