The last few weeks have been crazy...and guess what? The next few weeks will be even crazier!
I have a daughter who is six. She is loud, she is opinionated, she is strong willed, she is a mover, she fights sleep, she talks back, she questions everything and she says "mom" at least 5,000 times a day.
She may have ADHD, she may be on the spectrum, she may have Sensory Processing Disorder...we are trying to figure her out.
She is brilliant, she shines, her smile will no doubt make you smile...she lights up any room.
Yesterday was a day where I had just a few things to accomplish and so I loaded the 7 kids into the car and we set off.
The kids were all whiny, complaining and oh so loud. I used my nice "teachery" voice saying "voices off please", then I gave threats of time-outs or no t.v. time, then I gave the "I will pull this van over!" and I do...I drive a 12 passenger van and I do pull it over at least once a week to talk to one of my kids face to face about their behavior.
Nothing worked...
We were parked in a parking lot waiting for the my order of the best sushi ever and had my dear 6 year old just would not stop. So...I had to go to the back to the van to talk to my six year old...face to face. I felt like my blood pressure was through the roof and I grew horns atop my head. She probably saw me that way too.
I was at the end of my rope.
I talked to her and left the kids in the car with their big brother to go in and grab the sushi, by the time I walked out I was crying...tears streaming under my sunglasses...thinking I am the worst of the worst.
Here I have been entrusted with 7 kids...7 kids!!!
And I am crying about how I let them ,or one, get the best of me.
You see this is the life I wanted. I never envisioned a picture perfect family for myself. (although I do see my family as picture perfect) I don't know why...I have always had a heart for kids, always had a heart for special needs and can control a classroom of 20+ ballerinas...
I worry about what people think far too much. I lose sight of the BIG picture.
I truly feel like my kids should all behave like little saints all the time. They don't...I just feel they should!
Then I get disappointed thinking I am doing something wrong. I am mothering wrong, I am not being a good example, I am not disciplining correctly...the list goes on and on and on.
I forget the big picture. God gave me this family...they are awesome.
My kids have issues. Some more than others. Some are laid back, some are resilient, some a sensitive, some know their manners, some are still learning their manners, some are quiet and reserved, some are loud and don't care who knows it, some are receiving awards like "most self-control", some will get "most spirited", some show me every emotion and some I just don't know what is sinking in.
But here is the ticket. When I stop, when I look at the BIG picture, when I take a breath and think back to what it was I prayed for in my family, I see everything I have ever wanted.
There are days where we walk into the park, church, or the grocery store and I am sure people think there is "that family" good or bad...we are quite a sight!
I am so proud of my family. I know we can handle anything. And I know we have lots of LOVE.
So here is to hoping I can take a breath the next time I am at the breaking point and look back in my monster of a van and see those little faces and breath...and thank God for the crazy, beautiful family I have, because it is...
my dream come true.
Purity in Pandemonium
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Half a Lifetime...
I am 34. Wow! I am 34.
Maybe I am one of those morbid people...but I thought I wouldn't ever make it to 34...did you ever think that? Like you would never live to adulthood? It's not that old!
I also thought I would have life figured out by now.
I
really
truly
did.
I thought when I got out of my home, once I got married, once I had a child, once I lived out a few of my dreams, once I forgave, once I let go...I would have it all figured out.
I don't have it figured out...I never will.
But...here is to trying my best!
34 is a good number for me.
For me ages 16 and 17 were two years that impacted my life, strongly. But what is special about this time in my life is that it was a couple of the worst years of my life and yet I found love, I was given the gift of love from two very special people.
Right now I am listening to a broadcast about wise words...and how what people say to you sticks with you for years. My sister in law sent it to me while I started this blog and it ties in beautifully.
The first 16 years of my life I have very specific words that cut me deeply, to my core, from the people who were to show me love. These words stuck with me for decades. In fact these words of hate molded me into the person I am today.
At ages 16 and 17 I was a very torn soul. And yet I met my best friend. David was a goofy kid, he made me laugh and he has always made me feel safe. I was an anxious, anorexic, ballet dancer who was processing life and leaving home at a young age. I didn't trust, I didn't feel safe, I didn't know it was ok to not show "perfection". And then God placed Dave in my life. Just a boy, a friend, someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. I will never forget our first hug. I felt safe. That was a rare feeling for me.
That was over half my life ago.
When I returned from dancing in New York I was a lost soul. I left home and needed to finish high school. However, I was at a private school and had no funding to continue my tuition at this school. I talked to the superintendent and she told me I could finish school if I would work in the office for the summer. That is where I met Lloydine, my mama. I moved in with her, her husband and daughter. Again, I felt safe, I felt loved, I felt cared for, I felt that I could be honest, that I could eat, that I could sleep. I felt I could see myself as something else. Something whole, something that God created me to be.
This past year I have realized that these two people have been loving me, supporting me, believing in me, teaching me for more than half my life.
That's a long time.
I am blessed! I often turn to the negative, I often think of what I do not have. I often think of those words that still sting my soul.
But they do not define my soul. No...I let those words go. I have let people go.
I have been blessed. At the time I never could have dreamed I would be married to my best friend. To my safety. I never would have dreamed that Lloydine would be a grandma to my kids, spoiling them and loving them.
I pray that if you are holding onto something so tightly that it has consumed your thoughts for months, years, decades, a lifetime...let it go. I am blessed. I am held safe in HIS arms and I have people surrounding me with grace, understanding, words of encouragement, forgiveness, love.
This next 17 years I will think much less of the words that cut deep, or the people who try to tear me down..no I will focus on the people who have been put into my life to build me up, love me, show me grace and teach me the beauty of this life.
There is nothing more sad then a life wasted in bitterness and the what if's.
Here is to living life receiving love. Letting go of the distractions that want you to drag through your story with a heavy heart and a lowered head.
It is a beautiful feeling...safety...that is what I have always prayed for the kids who come into our home to feel. Safe.
Maybe I am one of those morbid people...but I thought I wouldn't ever make it to 34...did you ever think that? Like you would never live to adulthood? It's not that old!
I also thought I would have life figured out by now.
I
really
truly
did.
I thought when I got out of my home, once I got married, once I had a child, once I lived out a few of my dreams, once I forgave, once I let go...I would have it all figured out.
I don't have it figured out...I never will.
But...here is to trying my best!
34 is a good number for me.
For me ages 16 and 17 were two years that impacted my life, strongly. But what is special about this time in my life is that it was a couple of the worst years of my life and yet I found love, I was given the gift of love from two very special people.
Right now I am listening to a broadcast about wise words...and how what people say to you sticks with you for years. My sister in law sent it to me while I started this blog and it ties in beautifully.
The first 16 years of my life I have very specific words that cut me deeply, to my core, from the people who were to show me love. These words stuck with me for decades. In fact these words of hate molded me into the person I am today.
At ages 16 and 17 I was a very torn soul. And yet I met my best friend. David was a goofy kid, he made me laugh and he has always made me feel safe. I was an anxious, anorexic, ballet dancer who was processing life and leaving home at a young age. I didn't trust, I didn't feel safe, I didn't know it was ok to not show "perfection". And then God placed Dave in my life. Just a boy, a friend, someone to talk to, someone to laugh with. I will never forget our first hug. I felt safe. That was a rare feeling for me.
That was over half my life ago.
When I returned from dancing in New York I was a lost soul. I left home and needed to finish high school. However, I was at a private school and had no funding to continue my tuition at this school. I talked to the superintendent and she told me I could finish school if I would work in the office for the summer. That is where I met Lloydine, my mama. I moved in with her, her husband and daughter. Again, I felt safe, I felt loved, I felt cared for, I felt that I could be honest, that I could eat, that I could sleep. I felt I could see myself as something else. Something whole, something that God created me to be.
This past year I have realized that these two people have been loving me, supporting me, believing in me, teaching me for more than half my life.
That's a long time.
I am blessed! I often turn to the negative, I often think of what I do not have. I often think of those words that still sting my soul.
But they do not define my soul. No...I let those words go. I have let people go.
I have been blessed. At the time I never could have dreamed I would be married to my best friend. To my safety. I never would have dreamed that Lloydine would be a grandma to my kids, spoiling them and loving them.
I pray that if you are holding onto something so tightly that it has consumed your thoughts for months, years, decades, a lifetime...let it go. I am blessed. I am held safe in HIS arms and I have people surrounding me with grace, understanding, words of encouragement, forgiveness, love.
This next 17 years I will think much less of the words that cut deep, or the people who try to tear me down..no I will focus on the people who have been put into my life to build me up, love me, show me grace and teach me the beauty of this life.
There is nothing more sad then a life wasted in bitterness and the what if's.
Here is to living life receiving love. Letting go of the distractions that want you to drag through your story with a heavy heart and a lowered head.
It is a beautiful feeling...safety...that is what I have always prayed for the kids who come into our home to feel. Safe.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
I Am Back!
The last year or so I have been floundering. Holding it together...pretty well actually...but floundering all at the same time. Somewhere along the way I lost my mommy swagger. I lost my vision. I lost the feeling of what I am doing is the most important work.
This past week I was on two long six hour flights to Boston and home and had time to sit...think...process. I constantly have things floating in my head wanting to be typed out...mostly ramblings...things I find important or worthy of sharing...but then I second guess myself. I think...everyone wants to blog. Why should I?
So I jotted down why it is I want to blog. Why I feel that I am even worthy of putting forth what pops in my head, how I get through a day, what I have learned from our crisis, what I know about faith, about family, about friendship, about mothering, about special needs children, about broken hearts, about abundant blessings.
I came up with a pretty long list! I prayed about it. And here I am...ready to pour the murmurings of my heart out on a blank slate for you to read. I pray I inspire...I pray you think, if she can do it...so can I. I pray you can look at life a little more simply, a little less focused on us as individuals and more as a family. Whatever that is for you.
Currently my family is my husband and I raising two biological children, three adopted children and two foster children (one soon to be adopted). We have special needs, we have different colors of skin, we have hyper, we have mellow, we have old souls, we have those that constantly keep you on your toes, we have stories, we have broken hearts, we have healing, we have moments of tears and we have moments of ...how could life get any better?
So here it is...Purity in Pandemonium...for you...ENJOY.
This past week I was on two long six hour flights to Boston and home and had time to sit...think...process. I constantly have things floating in my head wanting to be typed out...mostly ramblings...things I find important or worthy of sharing...but then I second guess myself. I think...everyone wants to blog. Why should I?
So I jotted down why it is I want to blog. Why I feel that I am even worthy of putting forth what pops in my head, how I get through a day, what I have learned from our crisis, what I know about faith, about family, about friendship, about mothering, about special needs children, about broken hearts, about abundant blessings.
I came up with a pretty long list! I prayed about it. And here I am...ready to pour the murmurings of my heart out on a blank slate for you to read. I pray I inspire...I pray you think, if she can do it...so can I. I pray you can look at life a little more simply, a little less focused on us as individuals and more as a family. Whatever that is for you.
Currently my family is my husband and I raising two biological children, three adopted children and two foster children (one soon to be adopted). We have special needs, we have different colors of skin, we have hyper, we have mellow, we have old souls, we have those that constantly keep you on your toes, we have stories, we have broken hearts, we have healing, we have moments of tears and we have moments of ...how could life get any better?
So here it is...Purity in Pandemonium...for you...ENJOY.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Find Yours
I have had thought upon thought about what I should write about in this coming year. My resolutions are not fanciful, I would love to get rid of a huge chunk of our medical debt and I would love to cherish more moments with my children. Nothing blog worthy if you ask me, everyone knows who to turn to if they need financial help and I cannot tell you how many blog posts I have read off of Facebook on essentially how to be a better mother.
So I'm good.
I 'm sure you are too.
Then I looked at what the title of my blog is.
Purity
in
Pandemonium
well...
hmmm...
My life is chaos. Not crazy...just chaotic. There is not a day that passes that I don't question why the Lord chose me to do what I do.
I mean, I am a perfectionist. When it comes to my home, my time, my weight, my body, my perception of how I am viewed, my relationships, my children, my husband, my everything.
However, somehow, some way. I became me.
A mother of six.
A ballet teacher who no longer cares quite as much as how I look in the mirror but rather how my students look on the inside.
A friend who has let my true friends see the ugly, hear the truth, know my secrets and see my house a disaster.
A person who occasionally runs late and only with a quick apology.
A woman who is still, every once and while is criticized on my weight or waist line and can simply laugh it off. Maybe with a shed tear or two, in private, but definitely over it the next day.
A mom of children with issues. Real issues.
Yes me, the once anorexic, bulimic, anxiety ridden, self conscience, ballerina, who always felt off, unloved, too mature, striving for unmanageable perfectionism...me.
The more I have let go of finding myself striving for perfection the more I find comfort, the more I find peace, forgiveness, pride and I find the Lord.
The more I see the beauty of the pandemonium the more I see HIS blessings. Yes, my life is crazy but it is also packed with blessings. I mean PACKED!
My life, our life, is not just pretty pictures, recipes from scratch, perfect parenting, chores done on time, hand created preschool snacks or well behaved children.
My life...is LIFE. That is children saying and doing things they have been taught not to, that is my hubby and I arguing over sometimes...anything That is wiping boogies, or bottoms, laundry, reading your Bible while making breakfast for six, surviving though the horror of life's most awful moments or loving life's most mundane moments.
The purity is knowing that this life, is yours. Don't worry about anyone else. Find the joy, find the fullness, find the purity in your chaos, in your pandemonium.
Regardless of your feelings on God, life is a gift...is it not?
Find the sweetness of your life and embrace it. Find your purity in pandemonium.
Be a blessing.
So I'm good.
I 'm sure you are too.
Then I looked at what the title of my blog is.
Purity
in
Pandemonium
well...
hmmm...
My life is chaos. Not crazy...just chaotic. There is not a day that passes that I don't question why the Lord chose me to do what I do.
I mean, I am a perfectionist. When it comes to my home, my time, my weight, my body, my perception of how I am viewed, my relationships, my children, my husband, my everything.
However, somehow, some way. I became me.
A mother of six.
A ballet teacher who no longer cares quite as much as how I look in the mirror but rather how my students look on the inside.
A friend who has let my true friends see the ugly, hear the truth, know my secrets and see my house a disaster.
A person who occasionally runs late and only with a quick apology.
A woman who is still, every once and while is criticized on my weight or waist line and can simply laugh it off. Maybe with a shed tear or two, in private, but definitely over it the next day.
A mom of children with issues. Real issues.
Yes me, the once anorexic, bulimic, anxiety ridden, self conscience, ballerina, who always felt off, unloved, too mature, striving for unmanageable perfectionism...me.
The more I have let go of finding myself striving for perfection the more I find comfort, the more I find peace, forgiveness, pride and I find the Lord.
The more I see the beauty of the pandemonium the more I see HIS blessings. Yes, my life is crazy but it is also packed with blessings. I mean PACKED!
My life, our life, is not just pretty pictures, recipes from scratch, perfect parenting, chores done on time, hand created preschool snacks or well behaved children.
My life...is LIFE. That is children saying and doing things they have been taught not to, that is my hubby and I arguing over sometimes...anything That is wiping boogies, or bottoms, laundry, reading your Bible while making breakfast for six, surviving though the horror of life's most awful moments or loving life's most mundane moments.
The purity is knowing that this life, is yours. Don't worry about anyone else. Find the joy, find the fullness, find the purity in your chaos, in your pandemonium.
Regardless of your feelings on God, life is a gift...is it not?
Find the sweetness of your life and embrace it. Find your purity in pandemonium.
Be a blessing.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Have a little...
FAITH.
Yup, I'm going there.
Faith is a touchy word. It can feel ugly to some, inspirational to others and down right riliculous to many.
I am a Christian. If you know me, you know that. It is not a secret. I have many many friends who are not Christian. I have many friends who aren't sure and of course I have many friends who are Christians as well.
This post is not about religion...so if you are freaking out right now bear with me. I want to tell you what FAITH did for me, what it will always do for me and how I doubted.
My life, as many lives are, is a roller coaster of ups and downs, lefts and rights and the kind of ride that leaves you feeling queesy and unsure at times.
My favorite verse of the Bible has always been, "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I KNOW this verse. Anytime I have felt that uneasiness settle in I say that verse aloud or in my head and I feel calm.
That's the Holy Spirit.
When we were in the hopsital with sweet Addie one of my dad's long time friends came and shared that verse with me. Only I didn't feel the peace. I didn't feel the promise. I felt a little betrayed. I felt I had already lived through so much...I have matured from those experiences and tried to teach others through my own trials how to draw nearer to the Lord. This time I was at a loss when I heard that verse.
I told her this had always been my favorite verse...only this time, while those words swirled around in my head I felt alone. I did not feel God was near. I knew he was, but I did not feel he was.
*Here is a secret for you. I started this blog post months and months ago. I didn't know what to do with it, so I saved it as a draft but that word kept popping up. FAITH
What do we do when we don't know how to express our faith? What do we do when we don't FEEL the Lord near? How do we know HE is there?
The Bible.
If you are a Christian you believe in the Bible. You can't have one or the other. The Bible gives us many, many, many, examples of faith. People who had faith when maybe they didn't really know what else to do.
I say stick to the basics.
Our emotions can mess with us, they can overwhelm us, they can surprise us, scare us, calm us, rile us. They stir us.
They should not control us.
There were times when I was in the lowest of lows. One day Addie was still very unstable in the hospital and I had to drive home to pack up our then (almost adopted) 18 month old.
{This was a temporary move the state felt needed to happen, I am happy to announce he is now our son and has been almost two years!}
I was in his room packing his things, praying and pleading to the Lord to please have them change their minds, please don't let them take my baby, please don't make me pack his things. How will I survive this? What am I to learn through this? Why ME???!!! Why US???!!! I was literally screaming these things in my head. GOD WHERE ARE YOU???!!!
I started sobbing taking his clothes out of his closet and my mother in law came and hugged me and cried with me and that was what I needed. I needed a mothers hug, He provided that for me.
Throughout the whole ordeal of not knowing if Addie would breath again on her own or if little Ben would come home my thoughts, my doubts and my fears flooded me.
I would write in a prayer journal, or I would blog about Addison. I for the most part kept my doubts and fears to myself because they were between me and God, not me and the world, not me and my family, not me and my husband, not me and my church, not me and the doctors. They were between HIM and me.
I chose to practice my faith rather than feel my faith. I prayed for one word over and over again...
Restoration.
Friends, there will be times you doubt everything you have ever believed...do not run.
There will be times you think there is no one there...there is.
There will be times you feel God has abandoned you...He has not.
There will be times you will be angry with the Lord...it is okay. As a mentor of mine told me, "He can handle it."
There will be times you feel hopeless...find the hope in every situation.
Sometimes faith is being quiet, keeping your intimate thoughts between you and the Lord and then practicing your faith. Don't base your life on feelings in the moment. Embrace those feelings those emotions, but don't base your life on them.
Live out your faith, practice what you preach.
Practice what you know, practice what the Bible tell you to.
He will be there.
He will listen.
He will hold you in the palm of his hand.
He will provide restoration.
Be a blessing.
Yup, I'm going there.
Faith is a touchy word. It can feel ugly to some, inspirational to others and down right riliculous to many.
I am a Christian. If you know me, you know that. It is not a secret. I have many many friends who are not Christian. I have many friends who aren't sure and of course I have many friends who are Christians as well.
This post is not about religion...so if you are freaking out right now bear with me. I want to tell you what FAITH did for me, what it will always do for me and how I doubted.
My life, as many lives are, is a roller coaster of ups and downs, lefts and rights and the kind of ride that leaves you feeling queesy and unsure at times.
My favorite verse of the Bible has always been, "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I KNOW this verse. Anytime I have felt that uneasiness settle in I say that verse aloud or in my head and I feel calm.
That's the Holy Spirit.
When we were in the hopsital with sweet Addie one of my dad's long time friends came and shared that verse with me. Only I didn't feel the peace. I didn't feel the promise. I felt a little betrayed. I felt I had already lived through so much...I have matured from those experiences and tried to teach others through my own trials how to draw nearer to the Lord. This time I was at a loss when I heard that verse.
I told her this had always been my favorite verse...only this time, while those words swirled around in my head I felt alone. I did not feel God was near. I knew he was, but I did not feel he was.
*Here is a secret for you. I started this blog post months and months ago. I didn't know what to do with it, so I saved it as a draft but that word kept popping up. FAITH
What do we do when we don't know how to express our faith? What do we do when we don't FEEL the Lord near? How do we know HE is there?
The Bible.
If you are a Christian you believe in the Bible. You can't have one or the other. The Bible gives us many, many, many, examples of faith. People who had faith when maybe they didn't really know what else to do.
I say stick to the basics.
Our emotions can mess with us, they can overwhelm us, they can surprise us, scare us, calm us, rile us. They stir us.
They should not control us.
There were times when I was in the lowest of lows. One day Addie was still very unstable in the hospital and I had to drive home to pack up our then (almost adopted) 18 month old.
{This was a temporary move the state felt needed to happen, I am happy to announce he is now our son and has been almost two years!}
I was in his room packing his things, praying and pleading to the Lord to please have them change their minds, please don't let them take my baby, please don't make me pack his things. How will I survive this? What am I to learn through this? Why ME???!!! Why US???!!! I was literally screaming these things in my head. GOD WHERE ARE YOU???!!!
I started sobbing taking his clothes out of his closet and my mother in law came and hugged me and cried with me and that was what I needed. I needed a mothers hug, He provided that for me.
Throughout the whole ordeal of not knowing if Addie would breath again on her own or if little Ben would come home my thoughts, my doubts and my fears flooded me.
I would write in a prayer journal, or I would blog about Addison. I for the most part kept my doubts and fears to myself because they were between me and God, not me and the world, not me and my family, not me and my husband, not me and my church, not me and the doctors. They were between HIM and me.
I chose to practice my faith rather than feel my faith. I prayed for one word over and over again...
Restoration.
Friends, there will be times you doubt everything you have ever believed...do not run.
There will be times you think there is no one there...there is.
There will be times you feel God has abandoned you...He has not.
There will be times you will be angry with the Lord...it is okay. As a mentor of mine told me, "He can handle it."
There will be times you feel hopeless...find the hope in every situation.
Sometimes faith is being quiet, keeping your intimate thoughts between you and the Lord and then practicing your faith. Don't base your life on feelings in the moment. Embrace those feelings those emotions, but don't base your life on them.
Live out your faith, practice what you preach.
Practice what you know, practice what the Bible tell you to.
He will be there.
He will listen.
He will hold you in the palm of his hand.
He will provide restoration.
Be a blessing.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Actions Speak Louder than Words, or Facebook, or Blogs, or...
Do you have someone in your life that every time you see them they are negative, or sad, or whining about something, or angry, or sitting around with that "look" on their face?
Then you see them on social media and they are all smiles, sharing every inspirational quote there is, just being a ray of sunshine to all their hundreds and hundreds of friends? I have a few of these people in my day to day life and let me tell you...we are don't buy it...sorry.
I am an old soul, and I am old school. Actions Speak Louder than Words, they always have, they always will.
I have a situation close to my heart right now regarding a child we are potentially adopting. I know that the Lord holds her future in His hand and I have faith that the details will work out. However here we are so close and then what happens? Someone says..."we will take her" A distant blood relative. And just so I don't get a ton of messages regarding this situation these people have know about her since the day she was born. This is not a surprise situation to them. It's crunch time so everyone in the family now has a comment to make.
Where are the actions? What do these words mean? How much will they love her, cherish her, adore her, care if she continues to beat the odds, care if she grows into a beautiful child full of grace and spunk?
Words.
Words can make promises, they can allow you to share from the depths of your soul, they can allow you to open up, to share your story, to encourage, to build up, to show love, to teach, to give advice, to give joy.
They can also mean nothing.
They can be lies, they can be tough to read, they can be shallow, they can be many, they can be few, they could just be said, or read, to make you look good.
However, we know when there is no substance, we know if the promise will vanish, we know if the smile is lacking, we know if words are out of obligations or out of truth.
Why?
How?
Actions.
Actions...they are the glue, they are the substance, they are the touch, the help, the warmth, the haste, the tenacity, the resilience, the truth.
See without actions we are people without depth.
Have depth, speak truth to people in front of your face, have the same values and words in front of another human that you do in front of a computer screen.
I am surrounded by kids pretty much 24/7. Kids speak truth, whether we like it or not. :) They also are quick to forgive, love life and love people without a precept of how it will look to others. I love this. It's an amazing lesson. We can learn a lot from life's youngest souls.
Be a blessing.
Then you see them on social media and they are all smiles, sharing every inspirational quote there is, just being a ray of sunshine to all their hundreds and hundreds of friends? I have a few of these people in my day to day life and let me tell you...we are don't buy it...sorry.
I am an old soul, and I am old school. Actions Speak Louder than Words, they always have, they always will.
I have a situation close to my heart right now regarding a child we are potentially adopting. I know that the Lord holds her future in His hand and I have faith that the details will work out. However here we are so close and then what happens? Someone says..."we will take her" A distant blood relative. And just so I don't get a ton of messages regarding this situation these people have know about her since the day she was born. This is not a surprise situation to them. It's crunch time so everyone in the family now has a comment to make.
Where are the actions? What do these words mean? How much will they love her, cherish her, adore her, care if she continues to beat the odds, care if she grows into a beautiful child full of grace and spunk?
Words.
Words can make promises, they can allow you to share from the depths of your soul, they can allow you to open up, to share your story, to encourage, to build up, to show love, to teach, to give advice, to give joy.
They can also mean nothing.
They can be lies, they can be tough to read, they can be shallow, they can be many, they can be few, they could just be said, or read, to make you look good.
However, we know when there is no substance, we know if the promise will vanish, we know if the smile is lacking, we know if words are out of obligations or out of truth.
Why?
How?
Actions.
Actions...they are the glue, they are the substance, they are the touch, the help, the warmth, the haste, the tenacity, the resilience, the truth.
See without actions we are people without depth.
Have depth, speak truth to people in front of your face, have the same values and words in front of another human that you do in front of a computer screen.
I am surrounded by kids pretty much 24/7. Kids speak truth, whether we like it or not. :) They also are quick to forgive, love life and love people without a precept of how it will look to others. I love this. It's an amazing lesson. We can learn a lot from life's youngest souls.
Be a blessing.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Whatever Happened to Good Old Fashioned ENCOURAGEMENT?
My last few weeks have been all over the place. Lot's of ups and downs, lots of horrible situations happening to good people, feeling emotional, spread too thin and dare I say it???...overwhelmed.
I hate that word.
You see when I see myself as overwhelmed I see myself as failing. When I see my shortcomings I see weakness. When I feel betrayal, I feel unloved. When I feel out of control...I feel out of control.
This is me being honest with you.
It is rare for me to feel tired, or at the end of my rope. With 6 kids, half of them having special needs of some kind and all the other things on my mommy/volunteer plate I have felt frazzled as of late.
I think those closest to me have noticed this. Those who care have brought it up. Here are the types of discussions I have had regarding this season of my life.
I get people telling me to quit.
I get people telling me I have taken on too much.
I get people telling me I cannot save the world.
I get people telling me if one of my foster kids doesn't work out...perfectly...send them back.
I get ignored.
I get asked to do more. Cause heck, if I can do this much what is one more thing?
Then I get encouragement. This is RARE.
This should not be RARE.
For those of us who are Christians, the Bible tells us over and over again to encourage one another, help one another and build each other up.
Not tear down. Not give up because it is hard. Not discourage because maybe it causes an inconvenience in your life.
For non-Christians really encouragement is something we as a society, a people, thrive on. The pat on the back, or the "you got this!" can get you through the worst day.
I lack in the encouragement department as well. I could do much more to encourage and build up on a daily basis. Even in my own family.
However I will say this, one kind word, one cup of coffee, one friend caring enough to call you up and say "How are things?" can really change the way you look at a day, or a situation or your story.
Encouragement is free. It only adds goodness to life.
There is always a critic, there is always a pessimist, there is always someone ready to tear down...maybe because it makes them feel better for the lack of good they are doing in the world, maybe it's because they are jealous of the life you lead, maybe it's because they never learned to be an encourager...but it is time. Time to learn and time to set aside your judgments, your desires and your demands and be some good in someone's life.
It's time to build up, it's time to smile, it's time to lend a hand, to say "well done" to show whatever encouragement you have in that heart of yours. It will only make the world a better place.
Most of us already know where we are lacking, we don't need the world pouring it out at our feet.
Think of the lives you could change being that smile in someone's day. Just the thought of that puts a smile on my face. Hmmm...ENCOURAGEMENT. Something to ponder.
Be a blessing.
I hate that word.
You see when I see myself as overwhelmed I see myself as failing. When I see my shortcomings I see weakness. When I feel betrayal, I feel unloved. When I feel out of control...I feel out of control.
This is me being honest with you.
It is rare for me to feel tired, or at the end of my rope. With 6 kids, half of them having special needs of some kind and all the other things on my mommy/volunteer plate I have felt frazzled as of late.
I think those closest to me have noticed this. Those who care have brought it up. Here are the types of discussions I have had regarding this season of my life.
I get people telling me to quit.
I get people telling me I have taken on too much.
I get people telling me I cannot save the world.
I get people telling me if one of my foster kids doesn't work out...perfectly...send them back.
I get ignored.
I get asked to do more. Cause heck, if I can do this much what is one more thing?
Then I get encouragement. This is RARE.
This should not be RARE.
For those of us who are Christians, the Bible tells us over and over again to encourage one another, help one another and build each other up.
Not tear down. Not give up because it is hard. Not discourage because maybe it causes an inconvenience in your life.
For non-Christians really encouragement is something we as a society, a people, thrive on. The pat on the back, or the "you got this!" can get you through the worst day.
I lack in the encouragement department as well. I could do much more to encourage and build up on a daily basis. Even in my own family.
However I will say this, one kind word, one cup of coffee, one friend caring enough to call you up and say "How are things?" can really change the way you look at a day, or a situation or your story.
Encouragement is free. It only adds goodness to life.
There is always a critic, there is always a pessimist, there is always someone ready to tear down...maybe because it makes them feel better for the lack of good they are doing in the world, maybe it's because they are jealous of the life you lead, maybe it's because they never learned to be an encourager...but it is time. Time to learn and time to set aside your judgments, your desires and your demands and be some good in someone's life.
It's time to build up, it's time to smile, it's time to lend a hand, to say "well done" to show whatever encouragement you have in that heart of yours. It will only make the world a better place.
Most of us already know where we are lacking, we don't need the world pouring it out at our feet.
Think of the lives you could change being that smile in someone's day. Just the thought of that puts a smile on my face. Hmmm...ENCOURAGEMENT. Something to ponder.
Be a blessing.
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